Hope Does Not Disappoint Us

This marks the second week since the company's owner made good on his threat to fire me. Except I got him to sign a letter to the effect that he was laying me off due to restructuring and cutbacks, ensuring my eligibility for unemployment benefits; more importantly, it ensured my good standing for future employment. He tried to make it about a nitpicking typo he searched for two weeks to find, because that is his way. He is a bully, a tyrant emboldened by the 6 or 7 zeros to the left of the decimal point of his net worth, who rules his workers with fear, harassment, and intimidation. The funny thing about bullies is that they back down when their bluff is called. And, this one crumpled completely, getting rattled enough to forget my name. His sideways grin told me he knew that I knew his game and wasn't going to let him get away with it. In the end, he acknowledged my value and admitted that he simply felt I wasn't needed.

I tell you that story only because my coworkers could not understand my attitude. I did not come out of that meeting beaten, which was their expectation. I told them that the owner was not in charge of my life, God was. Whatever lie ahead, God would take care of me.

It took me two days last week, including over four hours on hold, to cut through red tape to sign up for unemployment benefits that will roughly match 40% of my previous paycheck. No job materialized, and with summer-like weather in the forecast, I followed through with plans to spend the weekend at the beach. The ocean has always drawn me closer to God. I think it is the vastness of the horizon and the thundering power of the surf. I find it compelling to walk along the beach and talk with Him.

I met with a house church Sunday morning. The lesson was about bad things happening to good people. Most of the thoughts I had heard before, but God's word has a way of speaking anew.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Rom 5:1-5)

I was struck by the fact that I had reached the hope stage of that progression. Not just a hope that is confident of the life to come, but one that is secure in the todays and tomorrows of my life in Him. And I was thankful for the life experiences that had brought me that far, even though none were pleasant at the time. They helped to make me aware of God's loving presence.

I came home to find that an unexpected check had arrived in the mail while I was gone. It knocked my socks off. God is faithful. Hope does not disappoint us.

A Not-So-Subtle Reminder

Late today I learned that I was to have been fired last Friday, except I was out of town and not at my desk. Why that has not yet happened, I do not know.

It appears that the owner of the company where I am employed as a technical writer learned how much I make, which is far more than he thinks anyone should earn. Top dollar for him comes from his distant past, which is quite a ways back when you consider that he is 84. Recently, he had to take the reins of the company; he ran off his GM by cutting his salary in half. That his GM was his son lends a whole 'nother dimension to the story, but I digress.

Tonight I am thankful that the day began with a longer than usual quiet time, and continued with a persistent awareness of God's presence. The day has been a not-so-subtle reminder that my life and livelihood depend upon God's care— every day, not just in the face of a threat like losing my job. Those times just pull the curtain back and reveal the source of the power that sustains the universe and orders my life and yours... minute by minute. God knew what my day would bring this morning when I talked with Him.

And, I'm certain He has tomorrow figured out, as well.